Elin Hannah Hall

Where do I begin? I've been mentally composing this entry for a week and if my mind were a chalkboard, you would see words crossed out from left to right, top to bottom, clouds of chalk dust furiously flying off the board.

I feel I have an interesting perspective now having had one birth experience with an epidural and one without. (I still can't believe I've had TWO birth experiences, two little girls...) More on this later.

It started on Wednesday after my 40 week check up. Dr. Gong asked, "Do you want me to stir up some trouble?" I nodded, eagerly, in agreement.

Shortly after, the contractions came on, nice and steady. As we sat through dinner at Olive Garden, I had my trusty Contraction Master Application on my iPhone (there's an app for everything!), logging in the contractions every 2-4 minutes. I started having to breathe a little through them. Whatever Dr. Gong did must be working, I thought!

That night we had Josh & Lina pick up Bella again - certain this must be the time. We called the L&D triage and they agreed that it sounds like it might be time! Car loaded, we headed into the hospital. Upon exam, I was found only to be 3.5 cm, unchanged from my afternoon check up. Disappointed, we negotiated to walk for an hour and a half to see if we could get things going. The contractions were still nice & steady, frequent, strong.

Here is where I have to tell you that I doubted whether or not I was the kind of person to have the "drop-to-your-knees-can't-breathe-or-talk" type of contractions. Afterall, with Bella, my pitocin was up to 22 and I could barely feel it. I was convinced that if that was what they wanted to see as a sign of impending delivery, I just wouldn't have it. I told Charles that I thought I had a high pain tolerance... (oh if I only knew what was to come...) Also, I should mention that we wanted to have a natural delivery (i.e. no pain meds), but we were not opposed to augmentation such as pitocin or manual water breaking to get things going a bit faster. If we could just get to 4.5 cm, we would be admitted and we could get things moving right along!

So, back to triage for another exam. Still unchanged. We were sent home. Thursday my contractions waxed and waned throughout the day. I stayed home from work after having been up all night. At some point that day, Mom Z decided she was going to come join in on the fun. Plane ticket was purchased last minute and Charles picked her up at the airport at 0130 Friday morning. Hooray! Memaw was here! In the wee hours of the morning, we showed her around the house, visited briefly, shared Bella's morning routine, and hit the hay.

At 0600 Friday, Dec. 31st, we checked into Evergreen. An hour and a half of admission process. At 0800, IV had been started and pitocin started dripping away at 2 U/ml. My contractions continued, gradually getting stronger. Totally tolerable. I'm telling Charles and my nurse that I think I have a high pain tolerance, again, with Bella, I had received pitocin at alarmingly high doses and had felt little. Dr. Gong arrived and did an exam an hour or so later and offered to break my water. I said, "Sure, let's get things going! I'm ready to meet this baby!" She broke my water (again I was shocked - AMAZED - at how much water there is!) and notched up the pitocin to 3 u/ml. Around 1000, we turned up the pitocin to 4 and I was really starting to feel them. I always told myself that I wouldn't be a moaner, that I would breathe and labor silently. But honestly, I was getting pretty loud at this point. I was laughing at myself for thinking that I wouldn't have those "hit-the-ground" kind of contractions, but here I was feeling like my body was not my own as it did what it was made to do. The contractions stopped me mid-sentence and to my surprise, almost brought me to my knees. My pitocin was eventually turned up to 5 u/ml and my contractions were on top of each other. I begged for a break - from who, I don't know - how, I don't know - but I was pleading for rest. Charles says I was pretty funny, asking for a break, debating on turning the pitocin down myself (we use the same pumps at Children's)... I was in and out of bed, the rocking chair, and swaying with Charles.

All the while, my nurse, Kerstin, was AMAZING. I felt like I had my own personal nurse, doula, champion, coach, friend. She was with us from admission through the birth. She encouraged, supported, breathed right along with me. She didn't leave the room but twice. When she did, she left an equally amazing nurse in her place. I couldn't have asked for a better team. Dr. Gong checked on us frequently, also encouraging and supportive, helping me transition from place to place around the room.

Finally, the contractions were so strong and relentless they started notching it down 1 unit at a time. I have to be honest, it helped to vocalize. I laugh now, thinking that I could labor in silence. Ha! Bella and Memaw had checked in with us sometime between 3 and 4 units of pitocin. They didn't stay long as Charles and I didn't want Bella to really see me in the state that I was in. They roamed the hospital, Memaw knowing that I was close... they stayed nearby.

I asked Dr. Gong for an estimate of when she thought I'd give birth and she said sometime between noon and two in the afternoon. That gave me some encouragement, but even though I didn't want to hold onto that time frame, I held onto it for dear life.

The pitocin had been turned off, but my body knew what to do. Just before noon they checked me again and I was entering the transition phase - the part of labor known for being the most difficult, the most painful. I was 7 cm. I was encouraged by the fact that transition is the most difficult, but also the shortest phase of labor. They began bringing all the equipment into the room which further reassured me that the time was coming. Then again, I wondered if that was just the purpose - keep me focused on the end.

Around 1230, she checked me again as I reported feeling like I wanted to push. 10 cm!!!!! Everyone quickly sprang into action, I moved back into the bed. Everyone assumed their positions: Charles at my left, Kerstin on my right, Dr. Gong front and center, an additional nurse to help with baby.

9 minutes and 3 contractions was all it took to bring little Elin into the world. I pushed 5 times. 9 minutes - I can't get over it.

Elin crowned and then stopped. They said to wait for the next contraction, but it seemed like FOREVER before the next one. I panicked out loud that I didn't think there'd be another one, so Dr. Gong said I could try to push without one. Charles says I pushed so hard at the go ahead he worried I wouldn't breathe and that I would pass out. With that one last push, I felt Elin come the rest of the way and I was elated. Exhausted. Excited. Never did have that last contraction.

I heard Dr. Gong tell Charles to look to see if we'd had a boy or a girl. He checked and almost said what the baby was. Then he checked again to be sure, before announcing that we'd had a little girl: Elin.

She was on my belly in a split second and crying vigorously - the sweet, sweet sound of crying. Love. More love than I could have imagined. Charles was so moved by all of it, he actually said, "We have to have more." Everything else went smoothly after: the check up, the bath, the shots, etc, etc, etc.

Memaw and Bella came back. We told Bella that the baby had come out and she responded, "Oh good, now you can pick me again like daddy!" Oh, to be a big sister.

Josh, Lina & the girls came that night, sparkling cider in hand (as well as my favorite thai food). Some big wigs stopped by and dropped off real champagne. It was a celebration; the mood & spirit in the room reflected that. I felt amazing. Elin was perfect. Couldn't have asked for more and wouldn't change a thing. It was our perfect birth.

And that is Elin's birth story.