Our New Routine

I went back to work last March 1st - at the last minute I decided I'd only return part time, to ease our transition. However, on my first day, it felt so good to be back at work that I ended up staying most of the day. And that's how it went the rest of the week. It felt so good to be back at work. Throughout each day I marveled at just how good it felt to be back at work, which was quickly followed up by an inkling of guilt for enjoying my workday interactions. By 1 p.m. I realized I hadn't even called to check on Elin... so I quickly dialed up the daycare only to find my suspicions were true: Elin was doing great. Relief.

Backtrack to the Monday night before March 1st. I wish the March 1st Aubrey could've told the February 28 Aubrey that all would be fine. As soon as I dropped my mom off at the airport, my mind went into overdrive. Pump, pack bottles, label bottles, get ice packs, lay out clothes for both girls, pack Bella's lunch, pack blankets for both girls, set clocks, iron & lay out my clothes, pack my lunch...the list seemed endless. I went home and robotically and sytematically checked things off the list. Double checked list. Reviewed list with Charles. Triple checked list. Quadruple checked alarm clock & volume. By 11 p.m. I was sure everything was set. I put a checklist on the door for each of us. Aubrey: pump, pump parts, bottles, ice pack, lunch, iphone, pager. Charles: ipad, iphone, Elin, Bella. Elin: Bottles, ice pack, blanket. Bella: lunch, ice pack, blanket, coat, hat, & gloves. I was so busy preparing all evening that I didn't have time to worry about Elin's first day. She had transitioned to the bottle well (better than Bella and that's definitely a big improvement), but not great, so I was worried about that.

Phew. Finally, done. I spent the rest of the evening staring at Elin, silently apologizing that I couldn't be with her, praying she would eat well, praying that her daycare teacher would love her, care for her, be patient with her. As a large, pear shaped tear landed on her cheek, she grinned in her sleep - as if to say, "Mom, it'll be alright." I might've cried some more anyway.

Morning came and of course, things didn't go as smooth as I had hoped. The plan was that I would get up early and leave by 0545 and go in by 0630. Charles wouldn't bring the Elin to school until 0700, Bella at 0730. By going in early, I could leave at 2:30 p.m and pick up Elin by 3, limiting her daycare time to 8 hours. I knew it would be a learning process. Luckily, I can go into work when I want/need. So, we slowed things down and I went along to drop Elin off for the first time. It wasn't as hard as it was with Bella, probably because she is younger starting daycare and this is our second time around the block. Elin happily went to Shannon. I reiterated that Elin needed patience with her bottles, she wasn't that great at the bottle. Please pay attention to her breathing! And, off we went.

My mind immediately shifted to thinking about work, the big projects ahead, our upcoming investigations, where I left things, and getting caught up. So, the day was great and again, it felt great to be back at work. End of day, mad dash to car, speed to Elin's school and smother her in hugs & kisses.

That night preparing for the next day went smoother and so did the following morning. Cut 5-10 minutes off our time. And, the rest of the week our morning routine times improved. So did evening prep. Just...exhausted...by...Friday. But pleased at how things were going. Slowly got into the groove at work, Elin was doing great at school. Though it had been a tough week, it was also a successful transition for the Hall family.

ELIN

1. She is super generous with her HUGE smile.
2. She is cooing and babbling already!
3. She smiles with her eyes. They seriously sparkle. Serious.
4. She giggles so preciously.
5. 2 month stats: 12 pounds, 10 oz (95th percentile) and 24 inches (95th percentile).
6. She is well out of newborn and 0-3 month clothes and fits perfectly into the 3-6 month category.
7. She is holding her head up and sitting in the bumbo well.
8. She LOVES the changing table.
9. She likes to self soothe by sucking on her hands.
10. She LOVES it when Bella baby talks with her.

BELLA

1. Did I tell you she's fully potty trained? I'm still hesitant to not use pull ups at night, but they're dry in the morning 98% of the time.
2. She knows all the sounds of her letters.
3. We're working on spelling three letter words.
4. She enjoys baking with me, particularly the frosting & sprinkles part.
5. She is comfortable playing in the kids' pool without us in it and without her water wings.
6. She will be starting soccer in a few weeks.
7. She likes her hair short "like mommy".
8. She LOVES buttoning and unbottoning since she's learned how.
9. She really likes to wear her dresses lately.
10. She LOVES, just LOVES Elin. She's always the first to say, "Mommy, Elin's awake, you hafta get her." OR "Mommy, I think Elin's hungry." She adores her, gives her tons of kisses, and hugs her all the time.

CHARLES

Charles' opening day for his new Redmond Emergency Center is this weekend. He's put his heart & soul into this project over the last year, so we're really excited to see all his planning and work come to fruition this weekend. We'll be attending the open house this weekend! Let's see if I can do a list for him:
1. He's an amazing father.
2. He's an incredible husband.
3. He requires very little sleep.
4. He can sleep at the drop of a dime, though, which has been very helpful to him during sleepless nights (either from work projects or Elin)!
5. He takes Bella swimming. It's their father/daughter time.
6. Though his plate is incredibly full, he makes it home for dinner most nights.
7. He can't stay awake for an entire movie to save his life!
8. He's slightly addicted to his iPhone.
9. I wake up for Elin, he wakes up for Bella.
10. He plays soccer on Monday nights!

Conversations with Elin

Firsts

There's nothing like your baby's first "firsts" - they bring great joy, excited mommy squeals, and of course, the camera to document this fine moment.

However, not unlike my baby's first, "firsts", there's someone else whose "firsts" bring me great joy, excited squeals, and the camera to document the moment.

It's my mom.

She's been in the United States for over 30 years now and has experienced a lot in the good ole U.S. of A. according to Filipino standards. But there are some pretty basic things she just never got around to doing. Ever since I've been out on my own, I've delighted in initiating these things for my mom - activities that she's just never simply had the opportunity to do.

My mom flew in last week to finally meet Elin and spend some time with her granddaughterS. She was an amazing help & awesome cook (as to be expected)! Charles and I both postponed our post-baby weight loss plans until after her departure, knowing that there would be no resisting her cooking.

When we lived on the East coast, we took her and/or my dad all over D.C. They had never been, so every trip involved a lot of "firsts": the monuments, the museums, the battlefields, sailing, etc. So, now that we live in Seattle, all of her/their visits have included many firsts as well: Pikes Place, the Space Needle, clamming, ferries, more sailing, new mountains, new scenery, and so on.

For this trip, my mom's firsts included:

Her first trip to an inflatable bouncy house!

With the miserable weather that seemed to follow my mom from the Midwest to the Northwest, we had to find indoor activities to get out of the house. Bella's buddy had a birthday party at an inflatable bouncy house and the kids really had a blast. The best part was that adults got to play for free - it truly brought out the kids in us. So, we went to the local Pump-It-Up for the morning. Bella, mom, and I jumped and jumped and jumped some more.

A trip to the Seattle Aquarium
Her FIRST trip to an aquarium EVER.

Her first time really playing in the snow!


Tubing for the first time!

Where was Elin while we were playing in the snow? Well, the initial plan was for us to rotate sitting in the "lodge" with her while the other two adults & Bella went tubing. However, much to our dismay, the "lodge" near the tubing area turned out to be an itsy bitsy little coffee stand that was always WAY too crowded. Not to mention there were two entrances to the tiny coffee hut, so it was always freezing and no place to have a little babe. So, we parked nearby and Elin hung out in the car. She slept for the majority of the entire trip, so don't feel too bad!

Our first picture of the four of us!

Just as we were headed out to drive my mom to the airport, we realized we hadn't taken a picture of the four us at all. So, with a little help from the timer, a stool, and a few well placed books, we were able to snap a few photos of our three generations.

It was a wonderful time and we look forward to the next!

A Valentine's Comparison

Miss Bella at one day shy of one month

Miss Elin at just over 6 weeks

Happy Valentine's Day

Variations of the same, trying for one good one. But they're all pretty cute, so here's the collection! Hope your day is filled with love! Elin's outfit came from the ladies at work, glasses and all. Bella's outfit is from the Orat's. (Thank you!)

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Six Weeks, Three years & 4 weeks

I'm sitting here, my mind whirling around trying to figure out what to write though I know I have plenty to say, wondering how many more minutes I have until I hear E wake up upstairs...

This epitomizes life lately! Stealing away for 5-10 minutes at a time when the stars align and E is sleeping and Bella is occupied by a book or in the bath or napping herself. And there's so much to do in that 5-10 minute window. Do I wash the dishes? Start/finish a load of laundry? Fold & put the laundry away? Shower? Eat? Watch my DVR'd show from the other night? Check my work e-mail? Clean? What I usually default to is dishes and kitchen clean up - that has the greatest positive effect as it's the biggest room in the center of our house. When it's clean, I feel like the whole house is clean. Then I usually sit here and try to write something and until today have been unsuccessful. So, then, I check facebook & watch my shows. I figure, I deserve some down time, right? Right.
Elin at 6 weeks is gracing us with many, many social smiles and we're engaging in lots of vocal volleying. I say "goo" and then she "goo's" and we go back and forth with this. It's adorable. She is packing on the pounds! We were at dinner at a friends' house this past Saturday (Bella & Claire go to school together) and Mindy just happened to have a baby scale: Elin is a whopping 11 pounds! She is sleeping well (lots of milk induced sleeps) and only waking up once or twice in the night. Elin is really starting to notice everything around her; she has started to grab for her dangling toys on various baby devices. So much fun!
Bella at 3 years and 4 weeks is writing her name! How awesome is that?!? We made home made Valentine's this week and she signed each of them! She's lately been into her coloring after a long hiatus - getting pretty good at staying in the lines. She always wants me to color with her... but is it wrong that I color my own page because I like it done right? (Oh, and to demonstrate the use of many appropriate colors...) She was coloring Dora's dolphin pink or something and I told her, no, Bella, dolphins are gray. She responded, "No, mom, this dolphin is pink!" Bella is super independent, picking out her clothes and getting completely dressed by herself. We've set up her drawers so that if she picks one thing out of each drawer, she'll have a complete outfit.

Gotta run, but enjoy the pictures...

The Verdict

If I had to go into labor right now, with our third child, I would... go naturally.

Tough decision now that I know just how much pain relief the epidural provided! However, what I'm basing my decision on is how amazing I felt immediately after giving birth to Elin.

With Bella & the epidural, it's true, I was comfortable, able to rest & sleep, and the contractions were virtually non-existent (compared to those I felt with Elin), and getting stitched up after was painless. The birth itself was wonderful, I didn't really feel much - they had to tell me what was happening with my own body based on the monitors. Afterward, with the epidural, I wasn't able to get out of bed without major assistance. I essentially remained a patient after delivery; I had to stay on the monitors, keep the IV and fluids going, and require assistance for everything. The numbness in my legs didn't wear off for several hours and even days after, my legs still felt heavy. Bodily functions lagged... no further detail.

With Elin's natural birth, yes, I felt every contraction through to the core of my being & spirit. I felt myself go through every stage of labor. (In retrospect, I also think this was a great & beautiful thing, too.) I felt her head engage and move down. I felt every transition. The instinct to push came on naturally. There was no sleep, there was no rest and I was exhausted. It was a primitive kind of pain. Getting stitches was yet another beast at the end. Here's the beauty of it though, as soon as Elin was delivered - I was no longer a patient. I was just a mom who'd given birth in a hospital. Everything went away - the monitors, the IV, the fluids, the lines, the equipment. I felt like myself immediately after. I was able to get out of bed, move around the room, and take care of myself & Elin on my own shortly after. I felt amazing in comparison to my postpartum state with Bella's birth.

Giving birth without pain medicine was worth every contraction to feel so refreshed, so triumphant, so good after delivery. It just seemed so...natural, so...human, so...normal.

So, yes, I will pass on the epidural with our third (God willing). And, God willing, the third won't be for at least another year or two!

Joyful

I have to say: I quite like - LOVE - our life. To a stranger, there's nothing unique, or extraordinary about it. In fact, it's pretty normal, but still, I want to shout from the mountaintops how much I love our family life. I love the stage Bella is at, I love all the wonder and awe in Elin's eyes, I love where we live, I love our church, I love where we are in our careers - it's all just so good.

ELIN
It's been a month since Elin joined us and I can't quite put my finger on it, but our family feels more...complete. She's so mellow. "They" always say if your first child is tricky, the second is usually easier (and vice versa). She's still sleeping away most of the day, only arousing to quench her thirst and change her underpants. She's packing on the pounds nicely; I'm enjoying the development of rolls on her thighs and her arms. She's pretty much out of her newborn sized attire and almost filling the 0-3 mo. category. I love her increasing awareness. I really enjoy how she looks around as we walk through the house--the wonder & awe.

After a week of searching for childcare, we've found a daycare for her that we're happy with. It's easier this time around to think about daycare, we're more experienced. Having witnessed all the good it's done for Bella and how much she enjoys it, makes it easier to go back to work again. Bella's "BFF", Claire has a newish little sister, too who attends the daycare (she's a couple months older than Elin) and Mindy (their mom) recommends it. When the girls turn one & walking, they'll both go where their big sisters are.

BELLA
Happy to proclaim, she's made the transition back to school this week and has not had any setbacks in the potty department! Woo hoo! It's true (about the potty thing): it just happens, something clicks and they get it. Wish I could've told myself to relax about it.

I really, really enjoyed having Bella home for 3 weeks with us, but I'm also glad she's back in school. She thrives there, in her school routine, learning & playing with her friends. I was beginning to feel like all I was saying to her at home were things like, "Just a minute", "No!" (as she starts to be a little too rough with Elin), or "Not right now, I'm feeding the baby/changing the baby/rocking the baby", etc. Don't get me wrong, Bella was extremely helpful with baby, but it was hard balancing each of their needs well. Plus, it gives me 1 on 1 time with Elin for a few weeks, which she needs as well. Bella was really excited to go back to school and her friends, I'm told, doted over her so much on her first day back - they had really missed her.

CHARLES
Charles resumed his work schedule last week as well and it's really a busy, stressful time for him. The opening of his new emergency department is quickly approaching and it's crunch time. I can see that it's hard for him, trying to balance work & home, so I'm trying to cut him some slack since I'm home.

He's really started working on rebuilding his CJ7 and that gives him great joy. I don't know much about it, but the front wheels are off and there's a new axle involved. Yay?

ME
Again, I'm just happy. Happy to be a mother to two beautiful girls. Happy that the transition from one to two hasn't been that difficult. Happy that our little Town Hall is moving along at a pretty little pace. Life is good.

I had to go into work today to take care of some things (it's true, I can't stay away... I've been responding to emails since week one of my maternity leave) and I brought Elin. Everyone showered us with kind words and compliments (felt really nice). However, there's a lot going on at work and it's hard to be away right now. I'll be jumping into the deep end when I get back!

I can't explain it; I just feel really comfortable in my skin. The ease at which we've brought another child into the world and adjusted to having two is astonishing and is contributing to how great I feel. I'm also without the guilt of going back to work this time. I'm comfortable with the fact that I like having a job and I like what I do. Doesn't mean I love my children any less or that my family isn't my top priority - I'm just the kind of gal that has found a job that is fulfilling & challenging & works with our family life. There are definitely some moms who are super talented at being stay at home moms - they can fill the day with activities, entertain the kiddos all day, come up with crafts, discover places to go - it's just not me. And I'm ok with that. I'm a better mom when I'm working. It feels good to know that.

Maybe I'm just on a hormonal high...

Icing on the Cake...
I've been back in my pre-pregnancy clothes for a couple of weeks... I didn't say that it was easy or that it necessarily looks good... but they're snapped & they're on! Still have a ways to go - can't wait to get more active. (If it could stop raining, I might be able to get out...BUT, rather have rain and 50-60 degree weather than snow!)

Prayer Request...
If you have a moment, please pray for my cousin Joy and her family. They've just had their third, a baby girl named Sophia, at 26 weeks. Joy is home now, but Sophia is steadily making progress in the NICU.

Bella Baby Photography

Evergreen contracts Bella Baby Photography to do a newborn photo shoot - complimentary! Buying the photos is optional... but who can really say no to buying these first photos?? They turned out great, so we went ahead and bought the CD & rights...

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Elin's Baptismal Day

I Was There to Hear Your Borning Cry
I was there to hear your borning cry, I'll be there when you are old. I rejoiced the day you were baptized, to see your life unfold. I was there when you were but a child, with a faith to suit you well; In a blaze of light you wandered off to find where demons dwell. When you heard the wonder of the Word I was there to cheer you on; You were raised to praise the living Lord, to whom you now belong. If you find someone to share your time and you join your hearts as one, I'll be there to make your verses rhyme from dusk 'till rising sun. In the middle ages of your life, not too old, no longer young, I'll be there to guide you through the night, complete what I've begun. When the evening gently closes in, and you shut your weary eyes, I'll be there as I have always been with just one more surprise. I was there to hear your borning cry, I'll be there when you are old. I rejoiced the day you were baptized, to see your life unfold.


Elin's baptismal service began with this song and as if on cue, the tears started welling up.
It was an incredibly special day to have Elin begin her life of faith. We were blessed to share it (and our church service) with the Trujillo's and our church family (that we are incredibly fond of). And, in keeping with what seems like tradition, it was a blessing to have PG perform the baptism.

Bella's Three!

I can hardly believe Bella is a whopping THREE years old! We have a three year old. She'd been counting down to her birthday since before Christmas. She would say, "Jesus' birthday, then Lula's birthday, then my birthday!"

As you can imagine, my plan to plan her party didn't really materialize what with working full time, being incredibly uncomfortably pregnant, then having Miss Elin, and then adjusting to life with Elin. So, when Memaw offered up her already purchased luau party supplies and ready-to-go theme, I jumped on it!

On the guest list, of course, was our ABQ family: Jacob, PG, Memaw, and Great-G'ma. Of course her bff's Ravenna & Araya (Josh & Lina) and our extended Seattle family & friends. Grass skirts, necklace & wrist leis, centerpieces, wall decor, butterfly pinata and a Hawaiian lei cake completed our ensemble. Our menu was simple: tropical fruit salad, Hawaiian pizza, chicken dumplings, pina coladas (both virgin and un-virgin), Sweet Onion Hawaiian Chips, tortilla chips with Mango & Peach salsa, Hawaiian rolls... all to fit our tropical theme.

Bella had a GREAT time with her girlfriends. It's so fun to watch them play and at the same time, they can play somewhere in the house completely unsupervised. When one of us checks on them, they insist they are fine and imply that we're intruding on their games! They are at the point where they just play hard until they crash. It's really great to know Bella will grow up with such great friends - they are way too cute together.

Two Weeks

It's been two weeks that we've been a family of FOUR and I have LOVED every minute of it (even those first two nights)...

What has happened these past two weeks?

Well, the milk man took his sweet time to deliver, so Elin and I suffered through the first few nights on minimal sustenance. We caved and gave 1.5 oz. of formula over the course of the first three days to get by... barely enough to make a difference, but sufficient to snag a solid hour of sleep for both of us. By day 5.5, the milk man decided to show up and our nights significantly improved.

Of course, because of the lack of beverage, Elin lost weight and we did the same song & dance we did with Bella... daily weight checks at the doctors. However, I'm happy to report that on day ten, Elin weighed 8 lbs, 4 oz - almost back to birth weight. Crisis averted.

I've examined every detail, every curve, every line of Elin's face, hands, legs, eyes and all I see is God's perfect design. I can't believe I ever worried about having enough LOVE for this little one - how ridiculous - but I couldn't have known.

She's a very different baby, but the same can be said for Charles and I as we are different this time around as well. We're "experienced", we're more confident, less stressed, less easily shaken, more relaxed and I know Elin feeds into and responds to that. She's pretty mellow so far.

She has Asian eyelashes - also known as practically none - and the few that she has are short, stick-straight, and oh so fine. Charles thinks she looks like my brother in a lot of her expressions. Her skin is a shade darker. Her feet are skinny & long. Her legs are "spindly" (as Papa G describes) whereas Bella's were chubby from the start.

Then there are things that are the same: she smells delicious, she's warm and wonderful to cuddle with, her cry is endearing. Her skin is silky, her eyes are big and dark.

And Big Sister Bella? How is she adjusting?

Well. Very, very well. (But every time I tell someone this, they say, "Well, it's only been 2 weeks. Just wait until she realizes that baby sister is sticking around." Or something like that.) Anyway, Bella has nothing but love for little sister, Elin. She voluntarily and spontaneously declares how much she loves Elin. She wants to hold her and does so pretty well. She doesn't mind when I have to hold her (but every moment I'm not holding her, Bella is quick to hijack my lap). Bella talks constantly about sharing with her and doing things with her. She's always concerned about where she is and why she might be crying. My heart feels like it might burst there's so much love.

I'm also proud to say (but hesitant at the same time) that since we've brought Elin home, Bella has made HUGE strides in the potty training department. She has been in undies since we came home from the hospital and has had very few accidents. The last two days have been flawless even as we've been out and about in public places. In the last two days, we haven't had to remind her - she's now telling us on her own accord. Praise God! We're so proud of her. I'm sure it helps that she is rewarded with trips to the pool with daddy! :) Bribery... I know, we're not proud, but it is working...

Papa Goofy arrived on Tuesday to check out the new bambino; Memaw, Great-Grandma Cora, and Uncle Jake arrived late last night. They've come to spend time with the grandkids, celebrate Bella's 3rd birthday (tomorrow), and baptize Elin on Sunday! Busy weekend!

It's been a wonderful and amazing two weeks. We are so blessed!

Elin Hannah Hall

Where do I begin? I've been mentally composing this entry for a week and if my mind were a chalkboard, you would see words crossed out from left to right, top to bottom, clouds of chalk dust furiously flying off the board.

I feel I have an interesting perspective now having had one birth experience with an epidural and one without. (I still can't believe I've had TWO birth experiences, two little girls...) More on this later.

It started on Wednesday after my 40 week check up. Dr. Gong asked, "Do you want me to stir up some trouble?" I nodded, eagerly, in agreement.

Shortly after, the contractions came on, nice and steady. As we sat through dinner at Olive Garden, I had my trusty Contraction Master Application on my iPhone (there's an app for everything!), logging in the contractions every 2-4 minutes. I started having to breathe a little through them. Whatever Dr. Gong did must be working, I thought!

That night we had Josh & Lina pick up Bella again - certain this must be the time. We called the L&D triage and they agreed that it sounds like it might be time! Car loaded, we headed into the hospital. Upon exam, I was found only to be 3.5 cm, unchanged from my afternoon check up. Disappointed, we negotiated to walk for an hour and a half to see if we could get things going. The contractions were still nice & steady, frequent, strong.

Here is where I have to tell you that I doubted whether or not I was the kind of person to have the "drop-to-your-knees-can't-breathe-or-talk" type of contractions. Afterall, with Bella, my pitocin was up to 22 and I could barely feel it. I was convinced that if that was what they wanted to see as a sign of impending delivery, I just wouldn't have it. I told Charles that I thought I had a high pain tolerance... (oh if I only knew what was to come...) Also, I should mention that we wanted to have a natural delivery (i.e. no pain meds), but we were not opposed to augmentation such as pitocin or manual water breaking to get things going a bit faster. If we could just get to 4.5 cm, we would be admitted and we could get things moving right along!

So, back to triage for another exam. Still unchanged. We were sent home. Thursday my contractions waxed and waned throughout the day. I stayed home from work after having been up all night. At some point that day, Mom Z decided she was going to come join in on the fun. Plane ticket was purchased last minute and Charles picked her up at the airport at 0130 Friday morning. Hooray! Memaw was here! In the wee hours of the morning, we showed her around the house, visited briefly, shared Bella's morning routine, and hit the hay.

At 0600 Friday, Dec. 31st, we checked into Evergreen. An hour and a half of admission process. At 0800, IV had been started and pitocin started dripping away at 2 U/ml. My contractions continued, gradually getting stronger. Totally tolerable. I'm telling Charles and my nurse that I think I have a high pain tolerance, again, with Bella, I had received pitocin at alarmingly high doses and had felt little. Dr. Gong arrived and did an exam an hour or so later and offered to break my water. I said, "Sure, let's get things going! I'm ready to meet this baby!" She broke my water (again I was shocked - AMAZED - at how much water there is!) and notched up the pitocin to 3 u/ml. Around 1000, we turned up the pitocin to 4 and I was really starting to feel them. I always told myself that I wouldn't be a moaner, that I would breathe and labor silently. But honestly, I was getting pretty loud at this point. I was laughing at myself for thinking that I wouldn't have those "hit-the-ground" kind of contractions, but here I was feeling like my body was not my own as it did what it was made to do. The contractions stopped me mid-sentence and to my surprise, almost brought me to my knees. My pitocin was eventually turned up to 5 u/ml and my contractions were on top of each other. I begged for a break - from who, I don't know - how, I don't know - but I was pleading for rest. Charles says I was pretty funny, asking for a break, debating on turning the pitocin down myself (we use the same pumps at Children's)... I was in and out of bed, the rocking chair, and swaying with Charles.

All the while, my nurse, Kerstin, was AMAZING. I felt like I had my own personal nurse, doula, champion, coach, friend. She was with us from admission through the birth. She encouraged, supported, breathed right along with me. She didn't leave the room but twice. When she did, she left an equally amazing nurse in her place. I couldn't have asked for a better team. Dr. Gong checked on us frequently, also encouraging and supportive, helping me transition from place to place around the room.

Finally, the contractions were so strong and relentless they started notching it down 1 unit at a time. I have to be honest, it helped to vocalize. I laugh now, thinking that I could labor in silence. Ha! Bella and Memaw had checked in with us sometime between 3 and 4 units of pitocin. They didn't stay long as Charles and I didn't want Bella to really see me in the state that I was in. They roamed the hospital, Memaw knowing that I was close... they stayed nearby.

I asked Dr. Gong for an estimate of when she thought I'd give birth and she said sometime between noon and two in the afternoon. That gave me some encouragement, but even though I didn't want to hold onto that time frame, I held onto it for dear life.

The pitocin had been turned off, but my body knew what to do. Just before noon they checked me again and I was entering the transition phase - the part of labor known for being the most difficult, the most painful. I was 7 cm. I was encouraged by the fact that transition is the most difficult, but also the shortest phase of labor. They began bringing all the equipment into the room which further reassured me that the time was coming. Then again, I wondered if that was just the purpose - keep me focused on the end.

Around 1230, she checked me again as I reported feeling like I wanted to push. 10 cm!!!!! Everyone quickly sprang into action, I moved back into the bed. Everyone assumed their positions: Charles at my left, Kerstin on my right, Dr. Gong front and center, an additional nurse to help with baby.

9 minutes and 3 contractions was all it took to bring little Elin into the world. I pushed 5 times. 9 minutes - I can't get over it.

Elin crowned and then stopped. They said to wait for the next contraction, but it seemed like FOREVER before the next one. I panicked out loud that I didn't think there'd be another one, so Dr. Gong said I could try to push without one. Charles says I pushed so hard at the go ahead he worried I wouldn't breathe and that I would pass out. With that one last push, I felt Elin come the rest of the way and I was elated. Exhausted. Excited. Never did have that last contraction.

I heard Dr. Gong tell Charles to look to see if we'd had a boy or a girl. He checked and almost said what the baby was. Then he checked again to be sure, before announcing that we'd had a little girl: Elin.

She was on my belly in a split second and crying vigorously - the sweet, sweet sound of crying. Love. More love than I could have imagined. Charles was so moved by all of it, he actually said, "We have to have more." Everything else went smoothly after: the check up, the bath, the shots, etc, etc, etc.

Memaw and Bella came back. We told Bella that the baby had come out and she responded, "Oh good, now you can pick me again like daddy!" Oh, to be a big sister.

Josh, Lina & the girls came that night, sparkling cider in hand (as well as my favorite thai food). Some big wigs stopped by and dropped off real champagne. It was a celebration; the mood & spirit in the room reflected that. I felt amazing. Elin was perfect. Couldn't have asked for more and wouldn't change a thing. It was our perfect birth.

And that is Elin's birth story.

Merry Christmas!

Charles and I just before his Christmas Party...

Bella's Christmas Day

Bella's First Christmas Outfit

Dec 21

Had a check-up today. 3 cm dilated, 40% effaced.
Really trying to stay positive and not feel sorry for myself.
Feels like broken glass between all the bony prominences of my hips and pelvis.

The Infamous Dec. 18th

Dec. 18th:
Oh, what a day. We got up early with high ambitions of finishing our Christmas shopping - and lo' and behold, we actually did make it out of the house before noon on a Saturday. The day started out with an open house at Charles' competitor's new emergency department. Bella got to see Santa, have her picture with Rudolph, decorate cookies, have her face painted, and enjoy the festive merriment. Charles got to check out the competitors and mix-n-mingle with all those suits. From there, we dared to head downtown in the name of Cougar Gold Cheese...which is like gold around here. We snapped up several at the WSU store, along with new gear for Bella and baby or course. Lunch in the food court, followed by scrumptious Mrs. Field's chocolate chip cookies and the Hall family was stuffed. Off to another shopping center where I scoped out a truly ridiculously and unnecessary baby bag...

Phew, that night we relaxed, wrapped presents, and cozied up to the fire as a family. After Bella went to bed I took up my usual spot on the sofa (all pillows present and accounted for) to watch a Lifetime Christmas movie while Charles went out to work on the garage. That's when the contractions started...and they were different...as in signs of impending labor. They persisted for several hours and by midnight we had Josh & Lina picking up Bella in anticipation of our departure for the hospital. I called the L&D unit where the triage nurse advised me to stay home as long as possible if a natural labor was what I wanted. So we did and I tried to get some shut eye. All the while, my contractions were 2-4 mins apart, 1 min or longer, and now for 5 hours. I fell asleep and when I woke up - NOTHING. Sunday morning I had maybe 1 contraction an hour or so apart... painless. Talk about disappointing!

Charles and I decided to try to walk the contractions back at Green Lake in the city. Round trip, the trail is 3 miles. Round and round we went. ZERO contractions. By 5ish I was in excruciating pain in my hips and I could barely make it to the car. We headed for Josh & Lina's to pick up Bella. We all went out for Thai food...I even ate some that was 3 out of 5 stars spicy...now if that doesn't say how desperate I am, I don't know what does.

Nothing.

The rest of Sunday went without any excitement and the wind had left our sails.

A Bella Update

Bella is at such an interesting stage developmentally. It's equal parts hilarious, endearing, charming, and frustrating.

Words to describe her lately: honest, demanding, perceptive, comedienne, mischievous, smart, rational, logical, impersonator, technological... I could probably go on but my pregnant brain is on duty - permanently.

Tonight as she was having quiet time in her room, playing with her play dough I could hear her singing Christmas carols.

She has quiet time and plays by herself. In her room. For great lengths of time.

I can leave her in the tub for short amounts of time during her bath to do some other chores nearby. (I remember thinking I'd never do that...)

She will find my iPhone, hide somewhere, unlock it, scroll through videos and pictures or find her games. If she hears me coming, she tells me, "Mommy, can you go wash the dishes?" or "Did you want to go upstairs?" to buy herself more time with my phone.

She tells me more about her day at school. I'll ask, "What did you do today at school, Bella?" And she used to just say, "Play with my friends." Now, however, she'll tell me entire stories about how they played and what they did. Today it sounded like they enacted a scene from Toy Story.

If she says something with a demanding tone, I'll say, "Bella, be nice. It's not nice to tell, you have to ask." She'll say, "I was being nice. I was just talking."

She is quite skilled at games of memory... possibly even better than me. She always wins!

She likes to "blow kisses" backwards. As I leave her room we exchange blow kisses properly (i.e. kiss hand and blow kiss). As I back out and exit the doorway, we do a few backwards (i.e. blow and then kissy noise). If I do it the proper way, she tells me, "No backwards mama!" So, I do, and then she says "Good night!"

Tonight, as I put her to bed, she asked me to stay (which is typical as well). I usually respond that I have to go downstairs, but that I'll check on her in a little bit. Tonight, however, I made the mistake of saying that my tummy hurt and that I couldn't lay down. She then asked me if I would just sit at the end of her bed. I told her I couldn't and reiterated that Daddy and I would look in on her later. She pondered this and then said, "I want Daddy to take care of your tummy."

So many wonderful stories and memories with my Bella girl.

I don't quite know how to express what I'm about to type...so I'll just ramble. So, it's not that I'm sad about having the baby -- that goes without saying. Obviously, we can't wait and we love this little baby. But, there's a sadness for Bella that I have... she'll probably never remember being the only child...which isn't a good or bad thing... but I'll remember because of all those firsts... and all the time and attention we were able to give her...and at the same time, I'm sad that this baby and the others we'll have won't ever get that undivided attention we were able to give Bella... and not that any of the kids will ever know the difference... and I just want to make sure that all of our kids feel equally loved and special and important... k. I said it.

The Christmas Story

Bella's school has an annual Christmas program. It's always the Christmas story, but it's never the same! It's hilarious... you never know what's going to happen when you've got 2 and 3 year olds running the show! It's always adorable...

Bella and Claire being silly in their angel costumes before the program...

35 Weeks

Thanksgiving Recap

Pictures to come.

Despite being 35 weeks pregnant, Charles and I still wanted to share our home to friends on Thanksgiving. We didn't entertain as many as last year's 40, capping out at about 30 this year. Josh, Lina and the kids came over the night before so we could start preparing early in the morning.

Everything was amazing, the food, the company, the conversation. We ate our first Thanksgiving feast around 2, everyone stayed, played games, cards, napped, watched slide shows, and ate in 3 hour cycles. Then around 7, the turducken (yeah, that's right. A chicken stuffed in a duck stuffed in a turkey) was finished, so we ate another big meal!

It was a lovely evening.

We have so much to be thankful for, so many blessings in our lives.